i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
