I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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