you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Send help, water and tortillas.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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