How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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