Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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