Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
