paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
