So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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