Dual....:-)
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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