She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
