so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
