rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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