i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
