there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
