you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize