The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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