all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize