butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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