why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
