You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
