You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize