you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
