I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
