Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
