we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
