If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize