walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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