i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
