what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You took a bar mat shot.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize