Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
