Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
