giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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