Just fell off a train. Bad.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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