Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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