Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You pole danced in your parka.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
