u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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