is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have grass duct taped all over my body
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
His nipple licking is glorious
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