Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
