Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
