i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
