she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
