Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
