Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
