Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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