I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize