i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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