I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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