Me. At least after what I've been through.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
