I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
