Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
