Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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