i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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