Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize