all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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