exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize