i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
