Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
