I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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