She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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