We named our party play list daddy issues
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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