i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
