Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
