U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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