the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
